I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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