I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
