2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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