Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
