How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
