Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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