my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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