i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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