Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
