I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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