ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
