the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
