I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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