yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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