your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
