so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
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I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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