We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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