arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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