Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
