See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
tell me about the fingering
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
