i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
