Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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