Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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