Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
