So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
