i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
