Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
