we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
