I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
