O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
