I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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