Well apparently he's into motor boating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
