Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
