I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
