Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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