My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
