this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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