Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
