so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize