Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
