Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
