I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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