I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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