my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
