Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize