glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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