i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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