Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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