your thong is hanging out like whoa
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
