i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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