I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How does one acquire holy water?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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