there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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