pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
