and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
