I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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