So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
