Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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