You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
