How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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