its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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