Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
