He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
